Things to Consider Before Ending Your Marriage: Part II
Marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime- but marriages end every day. Although filing for divorce will be the right thing do for some people, if you can avoid divorce and instead work to improve your current marriage there’s no doubt that you can avoid a lot of sorrow and heartbreak.
If you are someone who is considering taking steps to end your marriage and file for divorce, here are five more things to consider before you pull the trigger and call a divorce attorney:
- Have I seriously evaluated my own role in this and taken action accordingly? In one way or another, your choices have impacted the situation you find yourself in now. Taking an honest stock of the choices you have made and your behavior (optimally with the help of a qualified counselor) will help you see how much of the current situation is something within your power to change. Even if you decide to proceed with ending your marriage, considering this question will help you avoid repeating the same mistakes in your future relationships.
- If applicable, have we sought help from our spiritual leader or religious tradition? Most religions emphasize preserving families over divorce. If you and/or your spouse are part of a religious tradition, there may be support and resources available to you to help you preserve your marriage.
- What does my support network look like if this marriage ends? In most cases, divorce will change what your support network looks like. The most obvious relationships that change are your relationships with your in laws. But other relationships are affected as well- friendships may be divided, you may lose relationships due to the need to move, and other circumstances may arise. Consider what your support network will look like after the marriage ends.
- Is the source of our current marriage troubles temporary? There are a host of problems that can stress a marriage to its breaking point but are not permanent problems. These may include financial stress, loss of employment, problems with a child, moving, illness, and other problems. Stop for a moment and consider if your marriage problems might just be circumstantial. If so, it may be worth waiting for the storm to pass and making the effort to improve your current relationship as much as possible in the interim.
- What will be the likely outcome of a divorce? You won’t be able to know this unless you schedule a consultation with an experienced family law attorney in your jurisdiction. An experienced divorce attorney can tell you more about what is likely to be ordered in terms of visitation and support in your specific situation. It is wise to schedule a consult and find out more before you make a final decision about ending you marriage.
What if I am sure that I am ready to file for divorce or wish to learn more about will happen if I do decide to end my marriage?
It is imperative that you seek legal counsel. John A. Bledsoe is Orange County’s premier divorce attorney and a certified family law specialist. Our firm offers a confidential initial case evaluation. Call (949) 363-5551 to learn more.
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