Divorce is complicated and emotional. It is easy for the high emotions of a divorce to transform into vindictive and unkind actions. A Newport Beach CA divorce lawyer will tell you that when couples become passive aggressive, cruel, and uncompromising the outcome of your divorce suffers.

When it comes to divorce there is a clear distinction between being tough or strategic and being unkind. In the end, it pays to get along during your California divorce – here’s why.

#1: Nasty Words Lead to Resentment

In the moment it might feel really good to send a cruel text message or fire off an aggressive email to your ex-spouse, but in the end, these actions aren’t to your benefit. Upon reading those messages or listening to an angry voicemail, a former partner is likely to feel attacked, defensive, and upset. These emotions don’t create compromise, but rather lead to more of the same.

According to a Newport Beach CA divorce lawyer, you don’t have to decide between being unkind and being a pushover. You can actually receive a lot more from the divorce, in terms of assets, custody, and alimony through amenable and strategic decisions, than through force and cruelty.

When you are tempted to respond with nasty words that create resentment, turn over the communication to your Newport Beach CA divorce lawyer for support.

#2: Your Divorce Will Be More Efficient

If efficiency if your aim with California divorce proceedings, then playing nice can go a long way. When you and your spouse are acting amicably, it plays out in the pace of your divorce court proceedings. Documents are filed faster, decisions are made more easily, and the court can adjudicate issues more smoothly.

However, this doesn’t mean you need to agree with each suggestion or point of negotiation with your ex-spouse. Your Newport Beach CA divorce lawyer can handle disagreements or discrepancies in a manner that serves your best long-term interest and saves you time.

#3: Being Amicable Saves You Money

Not only does getting along save you time, it simultaneously saves you money. The average divorce in California costs $22,200 or just over $26,000 if child support and custody issues are involved. However, there are California divorces where the cost climbs into the six figures and beyond. In certain instances, this can be blamed on

Divorce becomes an expensive proposition when it drags out over many months of years – and the leading reason for a long divorce is bad behavior by one or both spouses. Instead, of making issues unnecessarily contentious, you’ll spend a lot more on your divorce by being nice, straightforward, and polite through a Newport Beach CA divorce lawyer, even when you want to be vindictive.

#4: Your Children Will Notice the State of Your Relationship

There is a long-standing cliché that says divorcing spouses should continue to, “get along for the kid’s sake.” The thing about this cliché is it’s entirely true. If children are involved in your divorce, the ability to get along and “play nice” becomes even more important, as the kids will notice how your relationship with an ex-spouse evolves and realigns. It will not only shape their view of the divorce but form long-term opinions about you, as their parent.

Keeping it civil for your children can also have other benefits in terms of child custody and child support payments. Spouses that are getting along are far more likely to work out a shared parenting arrangement that can allow children to spend safe, quality time with both parents, and demand less in child support payments.

These amicable divorces are also able to work out co-parenting and custody arrangements outside the court, which better represents the interest of the children.

Working Amicably Through a Divorce Lawyer

Some couples are able to complete an amicable, California divorce without the assistance of a California divorce lawyer, but these situations are few and far between. Rather, even divorcing spouses that are getting along need and want the advice of a Newport Beach CA divorce lawyer. This legal advice can keep minor issues from becoming major points of disagreement and ensure communication stays civil and to the point.

Ready to start a smooth path to divorce? Contact a Newport Beach CA divorce lawyer at the Bledsoe Firm by visiting our website here.


23101 Lake Center Dr, Suite 310, Lake Forest, CA 92630