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First off- I want to acknowledge the hurt and the pain that has probably afflicted you to the point where your google searches have led you to this blog post. A man married to a woman suffering from borderline personality disorder has suffered greatly. It’s not easy to be a man facing a divorce from his borderline wife, but you’ve come to the right place to know what you’ve got to do next. Our firm specializes in helping people who are divorcing a spouse who suffers from mental illness or personality disorders.
What is borderline personality disorder?
Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that makes the individual unstable and affects their relationships with others. Some traits of borderline personality disorder include:
- An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection
- A pattern of unstable intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn’t care enough or is cruel
- Rapid changes in self-identity and self-image that include shifting goals and values, and seeing yourself as bad or as if you don’t exist at all
- Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours
- Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship
- Suicidal threats or behavior or self-injury, often in response to fear of separation or rejection
- Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety
- Ongoing feelings of emptiness
- Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights
What are some challenges I may deal with if my wife has borderline personality disorder?
- Your finances may be strained due to her impulsive spending habits or inability to maintain steady work
- You will fight for a sense of stability as her mood swings rage back and forth
- You will fight to help your children as they suffer from problems caused by your wife
- You will neglect yourself trying to help her deals with her emotions
For men who want to remain married to their borderline wife
It’s important that you get help to care for yourself. Start weekly talk therapy if you haven’t with a therapist who can teach you how to set boundaries and deal with the extreme conflict that is common in marriages afflicted by borderline personality disorder.
For men who want to divorce their borderline wife
You must move very carefully or your life can be completely undone by this process. A borderline wife facing divorce will likely be on a warpath to destroy you. You need an attorney who “gets it.” We specialize in helping people with mentally ill spouses navigate a divorce. You can do this, but you need a team of experts to help you do it.
False Allegations of Domestic Violence Or Sexual Molestation
Domestic violence is a real problem that hurts women. Likewise, sexual abuse of children is a crime that is truly evil. It is good when guilty people who perpetrate these crimes are brought to justice. But in some cases, women with borderline personality disorder will use false accusations of these crimes to destroy their ex-husband in the court system.
Using the Court System for Abuse
If you decide to divorce, the drama isn’t over. Be assured that if your wife has borderline personality disorder, a quiet and peaceful separation is not in the cards. She may use every trick in the book to make the divorce as painful for you as possible. You NEED an attorney who specializes in thwarting these maneuvers and preserving your financial well-being and other interests.
Our Firm Specializes in Southern California Divorces Complicated by Mental Illness, Including Borderline Personality Disorder.
Do you have a divorce or family law question?
Call our office today at (949) 363-5551. We specialize in helping clients who have divorce and family law matters complicated by mental illness. John A. Bledsoe is Orange County’s premier divorce attorney and a certified family law specialist. Our firm offers a confidential initial case evaluation.
