Three Subtle Parental Alienation Tactics Narcissists Use

Parental alienation is when one parent attempts to sabotage or undermine their child’s relationship with the child’s other parent. This can happen through a variety of tactics, including psychological manipulation and gaslighting. Narcissists are masters of all sorts of mind games- so it’s no surprise they engage in parental alienation. And a smart narcissist who can manipulate adults will have no problems manipulating young children.

Parental alienation is a form of child abuse and may cause irreparable harm to your relationship with a child. It’s important to watch for signs of parental alienation and take steps to prevent it from occurring in the first place.  Here are three sneaky ways narcissists alienate their parents from their children:

1. “Accidentally” having the child overhear or come across derogatory information. Children are naturally curious people who will look at items they come across and will eavesdrop on conversations that concern them and their family. A narcissist may leave out papers or items (court documents, etc.) that they think will put their coparent in a bad light. They may have phone conversations where they ostensibly are trying to seek privacy, but position themselves so that they can easily be overheard.
2. Targeting the other parent’s relatives and close friends. Undermining the relations the children have with friends, grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc linked to the targeted co parent is a subtle and sneaky tactic narcissists use. If they can undermine their children’s relationship with the people in the coparent’s circle, it will have the secondary effect of compromising their relationship with the children.
3. Asking a child to keep a secret from the other parent. The secret itself could even be trivial or harmless- but the very act of consciously keeping a secret compromises the relationship between a co parent and their child. Narcissists know this sets up a subtle dynamic where the child trusts the targeted coparent less than before since they can’t be trusted with the secret information.

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Call our office today at (949) 363-5551. We specialize in helping clients who have divorce and family law matters complicated by gaslighting, narcissism, bipolar disorder, and other psychological challenges. John A. Bledsoe is Orange County’s premier divorce attorney and a certified family law specialist. Our firm offers a confidential initial case evaluation.